The sixth years of my new chapter

Hi people. I am back to writing this blogger again. I hope I will continue writing summary of my new chapter.

Let's beginning the story about my challenge experience. The most challenge and pain experience were living in a single life. Believe it or not, I still haven't find a man. I just realized that I did not really understand what is a real man purpose for. Some of you guys wonder what does this mean. Unfortunately, I grew up with no father. I learned many women in my family that they were through lot of pain relationship. Most of them became single and raised their children on their own. I have been searching what is real man's purpose to be with valuable woman. This is hard to understand what is real man's purpose. I accepted a man who is not being in higher standard than my quality because this is very hard to believed real man will take care of me and show me a real love. I have not been dating anyone since I break-up with my ex. I thought my ex was my only and last man. I spoke with my spiritual aunt about difficultly situation I had been deal with past relationship. She says, "Get rid him out of my mind and pray for replace someone who's my real man I will marry." Replacing someone is very difficult but I still praying every day for finding me right man. I sometime felt like I am worthless or not right person to deserved the right man. I am twenty-six years old woman. Yes ma'am, I still being babe but have go through a lot of stressful situation what I should not have it in my young years. It make me growing-up too quickly. It's hard to enjoy my age this time. I want to get marriage and have baby. However, I did not think I will ever getting marry. I knew I would end up having a baby. I'm sorry - if you could not keep to reading this then CLOSE UP my page.  By the way, I cried, cried, and cried and BEG God Jehovah help me understand WHY not I have a man. I have see many people are getting married and happily together. I hate the roller coaster emotional about love, man, marry, and kids. Yes, I understand marriage is very triple work but prefer to be in marriage life. I try my best to keep up the good action and example for other. I have boys' problem. It is exactly same as what my mom had been through. I enjoyed to be around guys, talked with guys, and along with guys because they are my modest role I can look up. Of course, girls always have drama. I already had too many headache over this mini drama. I don't need it anymore. I am just not good enough to have a real man. From what I understand and learn are very limit compare to who experienced to be in marriage life with a real man and have a good father role. I try patience but I do not know how long will this be lasted. :-( As for my humidity, I pray if God Jehovah know I am right person so I beg him to help me out.

However, one thing I would have grateful my dad for remain wanted have relationship with his children. Most of percentage, children were raised with no biological father due to the decision of father's abandon his children. After many years of father's abandon, most fathers don't involve his children's life. Now, my dad is in my life. I love my dad. I could say I am just fortunately that my dad walked in my life. I hope our relationship will getting improve some time.